The Case for Clear, Human-Centred Business Writing
One of my favourite phrases to quote to my clients is “If you wouldn’t say it out loud, don’t write it down!” There seems to a tendency to use lots of text interlaced with buzz words and jargon in many an RFP document. Which is mad because this goes against all the rules!
It almost feels a little bit like school, where we would often think that the more we write, the greater the number of marks we will receive. When really just like in any given proposal our teachers all wanted us to just to get to the point.
Writing as concisely as possible while getting to the point in the fewest number of words, is the very definition of brevity. This is something which we should always be aiming for. People often think that pages of writing as well as the use of jargon stuffing, makes them sound better, it doesn’t.
The problem with this approach is that it often fails to achieve the core purpose: communication. Instead we should aim to write as we speak because that achieves the human connection which is often missing. When I complete bid reviews, it often feels like I am reading an instruction manual. It is long, dull and boring. It isn’t something which anyone wants to read, and that definitely defeats the objective!
One example given is to write as if you are talking to your prospect, as if they are sat opposite you at a table. I always think this is a good way to get into the correct mind set and adjust your writing style. Think about the image below of two women chatting in an informal setting, how would this change your approach to writing a proposal, if you pictured your prospect in the same way?
The aim of the game is to persuade and convince the prospect that you are the ideal supplier to fit their needs. The same approach should be taken whether in-person or in written form. A business proposal doesn’t have to be completely boring and formal just because you think this is what it should sound like. Many RFP documents are missing the human touch, humour, interest, and proven examples of success. The people reading this information want something interesting to read, just as much as they want to be engaged with a pitch. Same rules apply.
Jargon Obscures Meaning
When we use jargon it often means the core information in a proposal can be lost, because the reader is too focused on the acronym they don’t understand. The language becomes wordy, formal and just a lot on the brain. Crucially it isn’t language which we tend to use in day to day business, so why are we using it in a written proposal? Is it to sound more important? Do people think it makes them sound better? Perhaps a mixture of these things. I think in truth, stop pretending to be someone or something which you are not.
This is also one of the problems with using AI too much, it writes in this formal way which does not connect with your reader. It isn’t human language so it doesn’t always resonate. Some common suspects are as follows:
Innovative — Everyone claims this; rarely backed by evidence.
Cutting-edge — Too vague; better to describe what is unique.
Synergy — Overused corporate jargon; often unclear.
Leverage — A filler word that lacks real action or clarity.
Scalable — Meaningless unless you explain how it scales.
Holistic — Abstract unless clearly defined in context.
Turnkey — Cliché and imprecise; explain what’s included.
Best-in-class — Empty unless you provide benchmarks or proof.
Paradigm shift — Dramatic-sounding but usually overblown.
Game-changer — Like “disruptive,” often unsupported.
Value-added — Vague unless tied to specific benefits.
Results-driven — Generic; everyone says this.
Next-generation — Sounds flashy, means little
The issue isn’t just with the word. It is often a case that the word is over-used and under explained. No context is ever given. It becomes a very bold claim, a brag, a boastful statement. All which your prospect is expected to just take as read. Unfortunately this is a problem and never really works out.
When you write as you speak, you write more efficiently in a way which is understood by your audience. When jargon is over used it alienates the reader more than them thinking you are more knowledgeable than you are, if that is the aim. Simplicity is key. Mostly because not everyone has your experience, so they cannot relate.
So instead of saying “We leverage our proprietary, end-to-end, best-in-class solution to optimise cross-functional synergies and deliver value-added outcomes for stakeholders.” (Quite the mouthful!) It might be better to say “We use our in-house tools, with proven results to help teams work better together ensuring measurable results for your organisation.” There is no point writing words which even the author doesn’t understand what they mean.
People Don’t Trust Corporate Speak
Consider the review panel. They have set aside maybe a couple of days to read, score and decide on the winning supplier. It is a tough job. A lot of money is at stake. And often given the nature of this type of work, big projects which need to go well. These people recognise filler words when they see them. It becomes a red flag and tells them quickly that this is probably not the one. Preferring the proposal that is brief, to the point, answering the questions well with evidence and substance.
When language is straightforward it conveys honesty. They know it came from a person, not some form of copy and paste template which you might make for every potential opportunity. This level of human tone builds trust, especially in a world flooded with AI-generated content. It becomes easy to stand out from the crowd in this way. This is often the real differentiator when it comes to winning proposals.
Conversational Writing Aids Understanding
The spoken word has in built clarity as a by-product. We naturally repeat a point when something is important or emphasise certain aspects as part of the conversation. We pause when moving onto a new topic for example. In the written form this looks like sentence variety (long and short), emphasis and structure. The aim being that the reader feels as though they are listening to you, following the conversation in written form.
Conversational writing simplifies complex ideas. This style of writing allows analogies and examples to be introduced. It also allows the reader to think more contextually about the wider points given. Almost a place for them to think of more questions for the supplier to gain further context because they are engaged with the info provided.
All Great Communicators Write Like This
Think about the great communicators you admire. This might be a sports person, a business leader or someone else. The most compelling speeches are impactful, direct and to the point. They don’t use 50 words when 5 will do. It is all about engaging with the audience and making an impact, keeping their attention and gaining their trust. Language is clear, conversational and breaks down big ideas into simple stories. It is all about connection.
Paddy Pimblett aka “Paddy the Baddy” — a MMA fighter in the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship). Famous for the above expression “I’m a scouser, we don’t get knocked out!” He has a huge fan base not just existing of people from Liverpool, but globally who get behind his performance, his humour, the catchphrase, but also the cheek, confidence and showmanship he brings to the ring. It’s a performance, this is what makes it engaging. But it is also how he shows up, the language and simplicity he uses. It makes an impact.
Other great examples of this include Warren Buffet writing annual shareholder letters as if he was writing to his sisters. Simple clear language. Jeff Bezos from Amazon does the same. He insists that all memos are written in full sentences, without bullet point jargon as this leads to clearer thinking.
This form of clear, spoken-style writing isn’t casual as some might think. It is actually strategic. It forces the writer to understand their ideas deeply enough, that they can explain them in the most simple form. This then makes the content more persuasive because it is explained in a much easier way.
Writing Like You Speak is a Skill
The reason (I believe) why people write in a superfluous way is because they believe this is how they need to come across. Writing in corporate speak, to be taken seriously but so often forgetting that other people just like them are reading the proposal. So it has the opposite effect.
It is easy to equate a casual tone with laziness or a lack of finesse. Instead, writing as you speak is more impactful and deliberate. This style of writing is more natural. You are choosing clarity over formality. The refinement of the message occurs until it is both simple and smart. It is not uncommon for me to edit and re-write a proposal until in my own mind it is ‘perfect’. This can often be 10–20 times. In real terms this is when I feel like I can write no more to make the answers to the questions set easier or clearer to read. When I can’t add any more context around the topic.
Writing concisely is like planning a well written and delivered speech, it takes time. But is always worth doing. This is how you win proposals.
Proposals Must Persuade & Inform
The goal of any proposal just as with any pitch is to persuade and inform. You are there to provide enough context that the buyer wants to learn more or move forward in the sales cycle. How we show up in the written form is the same as how we deliver face to face. What we write is not just words. It is communication.
When this is done well it does not just inform, it connects. And remember what I always say “If you wouldn’t say it out loud, don’t write it down!”
If you prefer to learn more about this topic in audible form — have a listen to the podcast episode called ‘Think Before You Write’ — https://open.spotify.com/episode/27q9wMP8H1qdbUTz7sVHz7. I delve a little deeper with further insights.